Step-Grandpa

You taught me to ride a bike... and boy was I ever good at it.

You curled my hair for me when I wanted to look like Shirley Temple,

and when you accidentally touched my neck with the hot iron

and grandma got mad at me for crying...

you shrugged her off and took me to the hairdresser to get it curled.

You made the best pies I have ever tasted (even to this day).

You smelled like fresh coffee and paint varnish,

from your long days spent in the barn, stripping and refinishing antique furniture.

You were kind to me.

You cared about me.

You loved me and I loved you...

and then grandma died,

and you left.

Like a train in the night.

And we never heard from you again.

You just up and left...

just like that....

As if we never mattered.

No phone calls, no letters in the mail, nothing.

Just gone... where did grandpa go?

To Nova Scotia...

Back to the other place he once left...

To his original family that he once abandoned.... his children, his partner.

A coward who did not have the guts to be a father, a grandfather,

let alone say goodbye.

When you left it felt like you died...

Confusion as to how you could love and care so much,

and then just leave without warning.

But you had done it before, and you would do it again.

And now...

you're really gone.

Mixed emotions surge through...

Sadness

Anger

Confusion

Rage

Heart wrenching...

Why?

So many questions I want to ask you,

but perhaps the answer would never have been good enough anyway.

csh.